Wednesday, April 18th
Real talk: I have been riding the struggle bus for what feels like forever but in reality it has been roughly 7 months – which is still a pretty long time. Although, what I have realized more recently is that for a majority of the last 7 months I was doing the opposite of what I preach and I was focusing on the negative way more than the positive. I was dwelling on the hardships that kept coming my way. I was not taking the proper time to step back, reflect, and truly address my thoughts and feelings on everything I was going through.
To catch you up to speed in one short paragraph, here are some of the things I have been basing my entire reality on: I left my relationship. I have been living alone (and feeling super lonely) in my first adult apartment since December. I decided to part from one job to pursue another full-time with less pay. My 6 week old nephew ended up in the hospital multiple times. Christmas was horrible. My mom totaled her car falling asleep behind the wheel. I have fallen 6 weeks behind financially. I got in a fight with my mom on Easter and spent the rest of the holiday alone.
What I am finally realizing: I am free. I am learning to love myself and learning what it takes to create my own personal happiness. I am insanely fortunate to be able to do what I love every single day while being surrounded by incredible individuals. My family is the most important thing in my life and they will always come first. Everyone is going through something and when you’re the one carrying a little less baggage around step up and make Christmas dinner for 10 people on your own. Money is not everything – and it will work itself out. Lastly, and just as important, the people who love you will forgive you and understand that you are human too.
Truthfully, I still have a ways to go but more recently I feel like I have been on a more consistent, healthy path to putting away the negative mindset and finding the positives in everything I have endured.
For the record: I think this is normal. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it taking months to finally realize you have been working backwards in your mind. Being consistent with ourselves, both internally and externally, is one of the hardest things we are tasked with as human beings. There are so many facets to our daily, individual lives and it is extremely easy to get caught up in various pieces without even realizing it for quite some time.
If we knew how to face hard spots in our lives perfectly and easily every time then how would we ever really grow? We are constantly shifting on so many different levels and the ways we used to tackle life might not be suitable for the future we want to create for ourselves – and that’s okay. Change is inevitable, so focus on making it positive – or at the very least, learn from it!
If we want to take a moment to stop and be really honest with ourselves, I think we both know that some of the things we start calling hardships or unbearable ordifficult truly are not that bad . Actually, it ends up being more about the current mindset we are in or the point of view we are naturally grasping onto when things don’t feel like they’re going our way or in our favor. If that’s the case, you just need a slight adjustment – a new pair of life-viewing glasses, if you will.
Maybe it is just me (hint: I don’t think it is) but I think there is a lot to be grateful for (and we definitely do not take enough time to reflect on it all).
Here’s some advice that I’ve been carrying around in my back pocket and trying to actively implement into my own life these days:
When things feel like they’re falling apart in your life try taking a second to stop and look around. What is making you feel that way? It might sound silly, but something as simple as cleaning up your room, filling out a weekly planner, or starting a savings jar can help relieve a ton of stress. You might be thinking, “But none of this is why I feel like I’m falling apart.” Honestly, you’d be surprised how much getting your own life in order in the simplest of ways will help you get other, bigger things in order. When you start taking control, you start empowering yourself. Make whatever small changes or adjustments you might need today and set yourself up for an even better tomorrow.
The cool thing about life? Every single day you have a new opportunity to become an even happier version of yourself. Not to sound too cliché, but what are you waiting for?
Peace signs and positive vibes,