This is what it feels like to be a single man with Autism

You’re a guy who has autism. You’re going to go through life the same way everybody else has gone through it in some ways. You’re going to hit that certain age when puberty changes everything. You’re not going to see your classmates were girls the same way once high school hits. Because as boys grow up, girls grow up. Teenagers who are boys will think teenagers who are girls are turning into beautiful young women and vice versa. Boys and girls will start going on dates and some will lose their virginity.

That one special occasion that you get two times in your entire life is also going to come before you walk off that stage with your diploma and never see half of those classmates again in your life. Prom night! You want to ask the girl of your dreams in high school to the prom. However, you feel your chances are slim because you have autism. And even if you’re confident enough to do so, you’re 99.9% sure of what her response is going to be so you feel like you have nothing to lose. She ends up saying no and you’re debating on if you should go.

Graduation day comes and you’re wondering if you’ll even date if you haven’t done it in high school.

This is what it feels like to be a single man with Autism.

 You’re seeing all the guys you ever met going to the movies on weekends with their girlfriends. You’re seeing them spending every Valentine’s Day with their significant other and you’re telling yourself this is just another day to you. You don’t know what it feels like to be taking a girl out to dinner ordering a fancy meal and a bottle of red wine. If you’re living on your own, it makes you feel lonelier when you don’t have visitors. You’re at parties, get togethers for holidays, or just having visitors with your family and your siblings if you have any bring home their significant other. You’re wondering when you’ll do the same thing one day. You will feel jealous. If you’re with friends, it’ll be the same exact thing.

When you’re on Facebook every day, you see a news feed at least once a day with a ring on a woman’s finger and the life event saying engaged. You’ll see at least twice a day that two people are in a relationship. All the comments saying “Congratulations” are pouring in. Of course, you’ll be courteous to post one too but deep down, jealously is there even if its deeper than people are reading you.

When you’re going to someone’s wedding for a friend or family member, everyone else has a date but you. Everyone is out on the floor dancing during the reception and you’re just sitting in your seat watching wondering if you’ll ever do the same whether it’s marriage yourself or as one of the guests.

You won’t know what to do to make your time come too. You can create an account with every online dating app but that won’t always make it easier. You can put yourself out there more but you will have trouble knowing how to do so.

But when your time eventually comes, it’ll feel special and it’ll be worth all the frustration of waiting so long. You won’t be a single man with Autism forever if you don’t want to. However, when you are single as a man with Autism, it’s not always a good feeling.

Louis Scarantino

Louis Scarantino is a man on the autism spectrum. He advocates for autism awareness. He grew up in Northeastern PA. He started writing and speaking after meeting his favorite singer Shania Twain! He's also published articles for The Mighty, Thought Catalog, YourTango, and Unwritten! He has his own website! He hopes to become an international Autism Advocate and get a film made about his life!

Leave a Reply