Family, I’m certainly not an expert on it. However, I am an expert in personal relationships and family will test a relationship to the core of your being.
My parents were both born and blended into very large families. I, on the other hand, am an only child. Growing up my family ties have not been close-knit. That distance has widened as I’ve become an adult. Being an only child and not experiencing a close-knit family unit I’ve always considered that I don’t have much family to speak of, at least in the traditional sense of the word. When I had a child of my own, there was a pivotal shift in my sense of family. I gained so much recognition and appreciation for my parents, in only the way a parent can know. My son brought us together, in a reunion of sorts, rooting us in the love that always existed but seemed far away.
Shaping the life of a human being is an immense responsibility and my parents were both young teenagers taking on this monumental task. I know in my own life, I could not imagine having to shape another person’s being, all the while trying to find my own.
It is my belief that we choose our family, they are selected specifically to cajole us on a path of necessary human conditioning, so we can eventually learn, grow and move to find our own path in life. I know that some of the most painful experiences we have are attributed to family, even in my own life.
I want you to know that over the years I’ve found term family to not only encompass blood relatives specifically, I’ve also been blessed to find and develop my soul family. I believe that it is for your benefit to find your way to love and honor your blood family because you were gifted to each other. Even though you can recount many days that it does not feel like a gift. If you can’t find your way to love and honor your blood family, you can also choose not to have them in your life or to spend less time with them, especially if they are toxic to your wellbeing.
I feel extremely fortunate that I’ve been able to establish a family unit over the course of my life. You know, it’s those individuals who are the family you choose! You see, each of us has the ability to choose the individuals that end up playing a significant role in our lives and every person that we encounter and connect with shows us something about ourselves or about ourselves if we pay attention.
Over the past several years, I began asking myself this question, with all my relationships, “How is this relationship serving me?” It’s time that we make ourselves a priority and recognize that we all have the authority to only allow positive energy into our immediate environment. This is not to say that you won’t have to deal with unpleasant circumstances, however, you do have a choice with whom and how much of your time you dedicate to any one person. To step out from what you have known and find individuals who fill your cup rather than drain it.
New relationships can provide you the clarity to understand your long-term relationships, such as blood family, and their purpose. Perhaps it’s time to take a step back and evaluate the path that your life is on with a totally fresh set of eyes. Providing space to allow the divine breath of life into yourself, which gives you the ability to share that outward.
I personally know that choosing to surround myself with people that love, supports, appreciates and uplifts me (and vice versa) has been a crucial part of me creating a life filled with love and this includes more than my blood relatives. This too is possible for you, should you choose it!