For the longest time I have always been unsure of who I am. I have always killed myself and stolen my time for people who did nothing for me. I would compromise my worth and who I am to be someone other people could love. But what did that do for me?

For the past two years I ignored my needs and mental health to satisfy someone who never saw my worth–someone who never truly practiced “kindness”. Now let me clarify something; this is not an article intending to bash an old flame, by any means. This is me getting the closure I need and addressing something that I think everyone in society needs to hear; for their own sake.

Kindness; what is it–because it’s so much more than holding the door open for others and helping a little old lady to their car with her groceries? This goes beyond all the stereotypical definitions society likes to label as being “kind”. Being kind means being understanding and patient. It means setting aside all judgements and not making someone feel small for their shortcomings. It’s not using power over someone to get what you want and need.

There are little things involved in kindness that can go a long way in any relationship. To be kind is offering a helping hand to someone in need. It’s setting aside your stresses from that day just to sit down and ask your friend or significant other how their day was. It’s offering to do the dishes after your significant other spent hours after a long day of work to cook dinner. It’s appreciating the simple–yet, big gestures someone does, such as cooking, cleaning, making a card for you for the holidays, or driving you somewhere so you yourself won’t need to drive. It’s not belittling someone and telling them they don’t do enough. It’s not sitting back and having someone cook and clean up, without even showing appreciation. It’s not telling someone that you are tired of hearing about their day because it brings you “down”.

Kindness is respecting someone and not demeaning them and killing their self-esteem and confidence. It’s never degrading someone by calling them names such as, “whore,” ”slut,” “idiot,” “bitch,” etc. Above all, it is by no means raising a hand to that person.

It’s important for society to practice kindness in their day to day routine. I want each and everyone reading this to know that you should never allow someone to have a control over you where it completely changes everything you once were. Know when to get up and walk away from any relationship, friendship, or environment where kindness is not being served. Your mental health and energy are much too important to live a life in negativity and toxicity. I just realized this, and I am slowly starting to realize my worth because of it.