“Congratulations!”. This is what you hear for nine months and after the initial birth of your child. Moms laugh when they tell you that you’ll never sleep again. They tell you how much you’ll love it and how great it will be. No one tells you what motherhood is really like. Women find the need to hide their true feelings and the difficultly of parenting. Obviously I can’t speak for all women and families, but I can speak for what I wish other moms told me.
My daughter was born about six weeks ago. Six weeks ago was the last time I slept for more than six hours straight. Sleep deprivation is no joke. It causes you to become extremely frustrated. It can cause you to hate the entire day and everyone on the planet, but mostly your significant other.
She screams evey 3 to 4 hours during the night. When I say scream, I mean red faced out of oxygen type of scream. As a mother, you hear everything. As you get up out of a deep sleep after getting 3 hours of sleep the night before, you look over. Here is your SO sleeping through the screams while it takes you over a hour the get the baby back to sleep. This causes tension and anger between a relationship.
No one tells you the extent to which your relationship will suffer. I have been so tired and angry. He goes to work and I stay back in the same routine all day. I can’t eat or drink a warm cup of coffee. She is either attached to my hip or screaming her face off. By the time he gets home maybe I can go for a walk. Then you have anxiety about rusing back because it’s dinner time. By the time dinner is made (maybe) I can take a two hour nap before what bed time really should be. You can’t shower more than 3 minutes, and forget about getting dressed like a normal person. Meanwhile your SO doesn’t need to worry about any of this.
No one tells you about colic that sometimes lasts for 3 to 4 hours. Here I am yelling above the screaming because I can’t take it anymore. Nothing calms it and they cry for no reason. It can be brutal to the point where you question why you wanted children.
No one tells you that those last 10 pounds will hang on for dear life. And that is even while you’re starving because eating becomes a hassle for you.
No one talks about the anxiety, baby blues, or the bond with your child. It took two weeks for my axiety to settle. It took a month before the baby blues went away. It also took a month before I really developed a bond with my child. No one told me that even with family and a partner, I would feel alone all of the time.
After all those horrible sounding things, moms are right about a few things. You will never love anything more than your child. Parenting is the hardest job on the planet, and parenting will be the greatest thing you’ve ever done. Despite all the negative, I would never trade my daughter for anything. Everyday I love her more. Everyday she does something new to make me laugh. Sometimes I can look at her and have tears from how much I love her. I get to look into my own eyes everyday. I get to look at her and see her father who I love just as much as I love her.