Love is Love is Love

For my birthday this past fall, my Life Hostage bought me a gorgeous sapphire ring. We spent several hours searching a dozen stores for that one ring that we were both happy with. I wear the ring on my left hand, but before you ask, we are not engaged.

We are happy and being happy is a very personal thing that really has nothing to do with anyone else. But you would never know that from the way people stare and ask questions.

No, we are not engaged. No, I don’t think wearing a ring on that finger means I’m not leaving it open for an engagement ring. No, he didn’t get down on one knee to give it to me. Yes, I do have an issue with my right ring finger knuckle that makes getting rings for my left hand much easier. Yes, I wear it every day with as much pride and reverence as I would an engagement ring. Yes, I feel naked if I don’t wear it.

I don’t know why I bother answering the questions. I really shouldn’t. No one is harder on me than me. Trust me, I had all those same thoughts swirl around my head once or twice. But just because I thought them doesn’t mean you can interrogate me on them. I really want to tell people to take their judgment and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine.

Honestly, there are some people that I don’t think mean anything by their questions. I do think they are happy that we’re happy. They’re just curious. Then there’s the other group of asshats that feel the need to question our life. Guess what? It’s really not that exciting – we live a very simple life with tons of love. And food, we like food. No juicy story there.

Recently I was reading an article claiming to know about the healthiest relationships – they’re the ones that aren’t plastered all over social media. Outside of my writing, I rarely post about my Life Hostage. Once I read this, I started to become hypersensitive about other people’s posts regarding their significant others. And quite honestly, I don’t know if there is credence to this theory or not. But what I began thinking, after all this ring chatter, was that maybe the healthiest relationship is one that is not visible at all.

What kind of crazy nonsense is that? The kind you start to believe after you’ve been asked a dozen times about when your wedding date is.

Love is love is love.

Isn’t that what different groups of people across the world have been fighting for, for years and as far back as I can remember? And you shouldn’t be made to feel like you love is any better or worse than anyone else’s.

Love is love is love.

Whether you want to shout it from the rooftops or keep it private, that’s your choice. But you should never be made to feel like you make the wrong one. There is no wrong choice in love. Yes, I say that even as a woman who is divorced. I never feel like I made the wrong choice there.

What I’ve learned from this experience? I think we love who and how we love. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Rachel Olszewski

A hot mess held together on a daily basis by dry shampoo and probiotics, Rachel is still trying to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up but for now is a communications professional by trade. A true Chicagoan through and through, she is an East Coast transplant trying to set down roots. Although the height of her high heels may be getting shorter, Rachel’s expectations are not getting lower and she is on a mission to change the world one person at a time.

One Comment

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    02/27/2018 at 10:37 am

    Well said Rachel! I agree wholeheartedly.
    My thought has always been (ok, maybe not ALWAYS… but more and more lately) that the over-the-top social media ‘post-ers’ are looking for “love” in the all wrong places (the outside).


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