We’ve heard it a thousand times, “Fake it, till you make it.” We’ve all know what it means and we are all guilty of saying it at one point or another. There is just one issue with it, it’s the biggest lie I’ve ever told myself.
Being positive and keeping my chin up is difficult for me. Being constantly positive and seeing the silver lining in every situation, is exhausting. It’s both physically and mentally exhausting. I’ve tried to fake being positive. To put on a smile despite what I’m going through. Faking happiness and just waiting for the day that I will actually be happy is the worst thing I could do.
I’ve denied myself emotions I was rightly due. Denied myself the process to heal the right way. Lied to myself that not being okay isn’t okay and you just need to move on and be happy because the world doesn’t like you if you’re not happy and positive.
I’ve continuously questioned why I’m still upset at the end of my last relationship. My best friend tells me it just takes time and you have to choose whether you move on or just stay put.
Faking it has kept me stagnant because I’m only pretending to have moved on. All the while behind the smile, the laugh, and brave face, I am crying on the inside. I now stand at the beginning of a new road. It’s time I choose.
I can sit here and wallow in self-pity and cry poor me. Or I can choose to be happy. Choose to move forward, let go of the past and trust God.
Here is to a better year. Letting go of things I can’t control. Forgiving the hurt and pain that others have caused, asking for forgiveness for pain and hurt I’ve caused others.
Being more positive (thank you Project Wednesday) and grateful for the good in my life.
Seeking to rebuild my faith in God. Learning to trust in His will. His timing and His plan.
~First Facebook post of 2018
I’ve faked it for too long. Faking it has only prolonged my struggles. We all have at some point. This is my time to move forward and change.
God has a plan, as difficult as it may be to trust Him or no matter how much trust you’ve lost in Him, He still trusts you to allow Him to work in your life.
Today, I once more choose to be happy. Choose to allow myself to hurt when I hurt, cry when I cry, but not allow myself to stay there to hurt and cry.
Same for you.
You are strong, courageous and brave.
God Bless and Positive Vibes.