Another month. Another negative pregnancy test. 

Another month. Another negative pregnancy test. 

Exactly 1 year ago my husband and I decided we were ready to start a family. I remember being so hopeful & excited. I remember excitedly making lists of boy & girl names and imagining how I would make that pregnancy announcement.  

I remember hearing stories from my friends about how as soon as they stopped birth control, they got pregnant that same month. 

I remember thinking how much fun this process was going to be.  I remember my expectations rising.  

And month after month, I would wait in anticipation. I would count ahead 9 months and try to guess the due date, and plan when would be safe to announce the pregnancy.  Each month I came up with a new announcement based on the seasons or our plans at that time.  And each month, I was disappointed.

And so the cycle continued.

Now, a year later, we’re still here. He & I. Family of 2 (& our cat, pixie 😸)

I share this not for sympathy, or pity.  I share this not out of desperation or to seek attention. 

 I share this because it needs to be talked about more publicly.  

I share this because the social media highlight reel doesn’t often show us the STRUGGLE of (in)fertility.  All we see are the happy pregnancy announcements. And it can make us feel so alone. 

I share this Because somewhere out there is another woman who is silently losing hope as another month passes by.  Because out there is another woman watching what feels like every OTHER woman in the world getting pregnant.  Because out there, is another woman wondering what is wrong with her and why SHE can’t get pregnant. 

I share this because life doesn’t always work on our own time and that’s ok. 

You’re not alone in this.  

So, I share this in hopes that my story will resonate with another woman who will find solace in the fact that she is not alone.

I share this to provide hope for every woman out there who is struggling with infertility.

And as I continue to be hopeful that one day God will grant me the privilege to become a mom, I will also continue to do my part. 

I will continue to fuel my body with nutritious foods and workout so my body may be a fit home for a baby.  I will continue to have faith in The Universe’s plan. I will surrender. I will release my desire to control the timing & move forward with blind faith. 

As hard as it might be, have faith that The Universe has a far greater plan for you.  When you finally surrender to that plan, it will all fall into place.  Exactly how it was meant to be.💕✌🏻

Alaina Horbas

Alaina is a special education teacher, wife, yoga instructor, health & fitness coach and personal development junkie. She has spent her 31 years, chasing dreams and learning lessons the hard way. She has made it her life's mission to share the lessons she learned and help others avoid her mistakes so they can find the confidence and feel empowered to live the life they deserve.

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