I don’t want this to be an average blog post. So, I have a question for you puzzle pieces, what will your legacy be? I ask this question because of the untimely passing of Chris Cornell, Robin Williams, and so many others who the public may know. I hope their legacies of their artistry will out shine their final days.
Hopefully, all of you reading this won’t have to consider suicide as a solution. I still remember my happy, unguarded self, and I still miss him. When I was a freshman in highschool I decided I wanted a girlfriend in my life. Up to that time the only real game I had was to say, “Would you like to hang out?” or I would compliment them, or buy them things I thought they may like. However, that game didn’t work then, and it would probably not work now, right? Over time, this began to wear me down. There were other problems too-I didn’t have a lot of friends to hang out with out of school, I would have been bullied by today’s standards, I didn’t have the best self-image or esteem. Worse yet, I weighed 118 pounds at a staggering 5’6” including the over-bite. I guess that amount of swag wasn’t what the ladies were into. Over time, this set of circumstances began to grind me down.
When we hear of a suicide in the news or on social media there is a moment of sadness and then the inevitable, “Well, they took the “easy” or “cowards” way out. This is only a half truth. It is easier to quit than succeed at dealing with this thing called life. However, it takes a tremendous amount of time, effort and circumstances to devalue yourself, as a human being, to say there is nothing left of importance for me to stay with the living. Worse yet, the people who commit suicide are rarely spoken of, and if they are it is with a legacy of suicide. If there is a lesson to be learned from someone who has gone before you-choose your own legacy. Take it from someone who understands there is a better choice than death-life itself. I don’t know where my life will end up, or if I will truly make the world a better place. One thing is certain: I am willing to die to pursue the things that will make me happiest. Nothing else is acceptable…nothing. In truth, I never had a death wish. I had a better life wish.
I hope that those of you reading this who are depressed or suicidal understand tomorrow is another day, if you choose to see it. Help is available if you ask for it. I have asked for help many times, with good and bad, results. But I endured until I found the help I needed.
So, I ask you again, what is your legacy? Will it be public service, the law, writing, music, philosopher? Your legacy has yet to be written. How it is written or the narrative of your journey is up to you. Instead of dismissing things as “other people’s” problems try to understand them. Instead of simply changing the channel or scrolling past a negative blog post, just read it. You may learn something that will take you in a new direction, or see another perspective. Over time, your legacy will be greater, not weaker. The choice is up to you.