I will openly admit that I absolutely love having order in my life. Nothing makes me feel more accomplished, more productive, more sane, and gives me a more satisfying feeling than when things are in order. I tend to plan my days around certain consistencies that I know work well for me. I, Katiuscia Maria, am a huge proponent of life with routine.
To me, a routine is stability, but it is also orderly chaos. I enjoy spontaneity in my life, but I am always comforted knowing that the balance I search for and strive to have, is found in the way I choose to live.
So I fill my days with the things that bring me peace, the things that have proven to keep me healthy, and the things that make me proud. I focus on yoga, writing, reading, time with my dogs, gym, coffee, rest. I limit the amount of time browsing the internet or social media because my eyes see enough computer time in one day from writing. I spend free time with trusted friends and loved ones who have a similar mindset to me. And I try to go to bed at a reasonable hour, although it is sadly too early by societal standards.
I’m very particular, clean and organized, and I like things done a certain way. I’m the person that would rather do something myself rather than telling someone how to do it, because I know that would result in me looking it over and finding something to redo regardless. That’s an admitted problem I have, and am actively working on: allowing myself to accept help and assistance. I’m a huge believer in relinquishing the desire and need to control things that are out of our hands, but I also need to be a little more willing to relinquish control on the things I can control as well. Letting go, and asking for help.
While some things in my life seem very routine, the things I do and the choices I make are all because they are conducive to my lifestyle. My lifestyle is what put my Lupus Nephritis in remission. My choices to become more aware of what I ate, embrace fitness, eliminate negativity from my life, maintain a positive outlook and determination to beat this illness, and eventually stop all medicines, were part of this lifestyle that I had created. And creating this lifestyle was the best decision I could have made.
I think sometimes people attach a stigma to the word “routine” because they confuse it for a form of obsession. For me personally, fitness contributes to my healing, and when I’m feeling good, I want to incorporate some form of it in my day, whether it’s yoga, lifting, walking or just stretching. If I miss a day of activity, I get over it, but I’ve actually had people say to me that it’s “too much.” And I don’t get offended by people, because I realize that they just didn’t understand. People didn’t understand why I would choose to take anti-nausea meds and go to a spin class the morning after I received chemo. They didn’t understand that pushing myself was more for my mind, for the fact that I had the will to feel alive, even though my body was struggling so much.
It’s interesting how people will always have something to say about the way you live your life. I used to defend my actions and give reasons for why I did things a certain way, and now I don’t anymore. And that is the beauty of a healthy routine. I am creating a life I love and nurturing my remission through my lifestyle, and nothing anyone can say to me can ever diminish that or convince me to do otherwise. As long as I’m healthy and happy with my lifestyle, everything that doesn’t matter is just noise.