Living a life of “Almost”

I graduated top 12 in my HS class but it didn’t make the cut for top 10%

I started a blog and got mentioned on a local radio morning show but nothing national.

I was in honors classes but not in AP.

I graduated Cum Laude but not Suma Cum Laude.

I was on the cheerleading squad but I wasn’t captain.

I spent my entire life being successful enough, but just ALMOST to the top. Almost hitting my potential.

I grew up to continue this pattern. Being ALMOST successful became my comfort zone, my safety.

I’d try something new and get decently good at it, ALMOST master it, then move on. I reached my “peak”.

Except it wasn’t my peak. It was my self-appointed peak. It was a cap I was putting on myself because I didn’t know HOW to go any further.

That mentality made me a jack of all trades but master of none.  Habitual quitter or as my husband likes to say “you’re literally the most interesting man on earth” because I’ve dabbled in so many things that even I sometimes forget what I’ve done.  (More on WHY I kept “forgetting” in my next post)

But how does this help me? Well, it doesn’t. Not really.   I used to tell myself things like well at least I tried it. But the reality of it is that I never went ALL IN with anything. I never gave anything a fair enough shot.

Sure, I have tried a million things, and I can say things like “oh yes, I know I DON’T want to do this or that because I have tried something like it before.”- But the problem with this, is that all it’s been doing is LIMITING me.  Cutting me off at the knees, preventing me from giving things another shot because I “already tried that”  But did I really?  NO.  I tried it until it got hard, and then decided, “That’s enough!”

So how can I change this self limiting habit? By pushing forward. By not giving up when times get tough. By continuing to learn and grow and by adopting new habits that will make me a better person. By RESISTING my desire to throw in the towel when I feel lost on my next steps.  By getting comfortable being UNCOMFORTABLE.

You see, we all have our quirks. Our habits. But they don’t define us. The don’t depict where we are headed. They only explain how we got where we are. But today, TODAY we can make a choice. A choice to form NEW habits, to take our future into our own hands and DECIDE what kind of life we will live.

What kind of life will YOU decide to live?

Alaina Horbas

Alaina is a special education teacher, wife, yoga instructor, health & fitness coach and personal development junkie. She has spent her 31 years, chasing dreams and learning lessons the hard way. She has made it her life's mission to share the lessons she learned and help others avoid her mistakes so they can find the confidence and feel empowered to live the life they deserve.

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