Limiting beliefs are not the real you.

Don’t feel like that. Don’t dwell. Don’t do that, do this. Don’t say that. You won’t make money doing that. You can’t do that. You really shouldn’t wear that…

Don’t, won’t, can’t, shouldn’t… AHHHH, it all sounded too familiar growing up. Parents, friends, frenemies, teachers, complete strangers, all giving me their opinion of how I should live my life. Don’t do this because it didn’t work out for them. I won’t make money doing that because they couldn’t make money on their own. Don’t say something because they didn’t like hearing it. I shouldn’t wear something because they didn’t like it.

For years, I listened to this. And growing up, I knew no better than to. I was scared of not going to college and not getting a good job, because then I wouldn’t have insurance, a retirement plan, etc. I went to college to get a degree because my dad said I wasn’t going to make any money cosmetology (what I wanted to do instead of college). The only jobs that were available when I graduated were ones paying $12.00/hour. I had to make money on the weekends… Doing hair. I started working in corporate wellness because it was a “good job with great benefits”. I quit because I was miserable and all I heard from the people closest to me is “Why would you do that? Don’t quit!”

Look, I get it. These people were looking out for me, giving me advice throughout my life. You know the one thing in common with all their “advice?” It was based on their belief system. Not mine. Their limiting beliefs that they have formed because of something that didn’t work out for them in their life. These beliefs weren’t mine. You see, we all form beliefs about ourselves, our world and others in our world. These beliefs start to form when we are young and may even stick with us throughout our life. The sad thing is that most limiting beliefs we have about ourselves, aren’t even ours! They were imposed upon us by our caretakers when we were young, and as we grow, we (unaware of the limiting beliefs we have) subconsciously put ourselves into situations that reaffirm these beliefs.

Ask yourselves these 2 questions:
1. Have you ever felt unloved, not good enough, undeserving, insecure, weak, too emotional, unsure, fearful, etc?
2. Have you ever heard a 2-year-old talk about how they weren’t good enough, were too tall, too fat, too skinny, too emotional, undeserving of love, too vulnerable?

I know most of you probably answered yes to the first question and I am also pretty certain that you answered NO to the second. We are not born thinking negative thoughts about ourselves. Our society plants these thoughts in our head and we believe them after years and years of reaffirming these through our relationships, endeavors, actions that we subconsciously seek out and do. Limiting beliefs are not the real you. The real you is the you underneath those beliefs. The one that knows that you were meant for something great. The one that knows the power that you are capable of. The one that isn’t scared to be vulnerable and isn’t scared to love. The one that says f*** it, let’s try this and see how it goes! That is the real you. Go with that version and drown out the limiting beliefs. I did; and two businesses, traveling to multiple countries and meeting thousands of people later, it has changed my life completely.

Monique Hayes

Monique Hayes is an intuitive health coach, Reiki Master, bakeologist, and educator. After completing her MPH, she quit the corporate health world to pursue her own mission of helping people heal from the inside out. She loves working with people, helping them transform into the happiest and healthiest version of themselves. Healthy, delicious food, connecting with nature, understanding the wants and needs of your body, and being authentically you in an inauthentic world are extremely important to her.

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