Learning To Be Imperfect In An Imperfect World

It’s amazing the way the world is nowadays. What is truly amazing is the way a person can be viewed by others. Really! Not just by society, but by their own family, friends, and loved ones.

From the perspective of a 26-year-old female—someone who had been quite “sheltered” growing up, it is “amazing” how my life choices can be viewed and “unaccepted” by my family. I grew up living at home until I was well into my ‘20s. I always had friends who either were out on their own or their parents didn’t really mind them coming and going as they pleased. This wasn’t the case for me when it came to living at home. I always, for a good remainder of my time at home, had a curfew and needed to inform my parents of my whereabouts. This feels pretty silly typing this right now, just because I almost feel like I don’t want anyone to know that portion of my life. Now don’t get me wrong, I do understand that my parents are only looking out for my well-being, however, the way they can come across at times, I wish they were a little more understanding.

Moving onward, by the time I was 25 I started dreaming of a time where I would be able to live out on my own and begin to learn the lifestyle of really being an adult. I ended up dating someone, whom I later decided to relocate with to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. This would not only be my first time out on my “own” in a sense, however, it would also be my first time living somewhere other than my hometown of Scranton, Pennsylvania. My parents are pretty old-fashioned and came from an era where it was not very common to live other than the area where you grew up, and if you did eventually move out on your own, it usually was not until you were married.  Now you could probably imagine this bit of news was not so welcoming to my parents. 

After moving out and living with my boyfriend for a year now, the idea of me moving is still brought up from time to time, and still feels not very supported. This past week, my boyfriend and I went on vacation with my family to the beach. This I was expecting to be relaxing and a time away from work and stress. When I got on vacation, I was overwhelmed by the tendency to be unsupported by my family for my decision to move and perhaps, “struggle” to make it on my own. This may come as a surprise to some, that while I may struggle at times, I have an extreme desire to work my hardest and trudge through the most difficult times until I, in the end, make it to the top. Then and only then, will I be able to appreciate the journey it took to “make it” and be the best I could be.

When I was hearing from my family the lack of support for my choice, it hurt. It hurt that I was made to feel as though I was not capable of succeeding. I know I am not the only one in society faced with this type of situation, so that is why I am writing this article. I am writing to let each and every one of you know, that while you may be “imperfect” in the eyes of the world, it is important to embrace every inch of that imperfectness. Not many people can survive the journeys you embark. And looking back on those journeys that were the toughest and seemed unbearable, let those times be motivation and fuel for you to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and quite literally, “make it to the top.” Let those who looked down on you and doubted your capabilities question their own judgments. Let THEM be jealous. Jealous that they could never have the guts to go through what you went through. Jealous that they didn’t really take the time to know your worth.

Embrace your imperfectness. Only then will you realize your true potential.

Marissa Selemba

Marissa, I have a bachelor's degree in Human Development and Family Studies with a minor in Psychology, and currently interested in experiencing a career change in writing. My goal is to one day be a content writer. I enjoy classic rock music and unwinding with my cat, Stevie Nicks!

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