For months I have been trying to write a new piece – a piece that has an inspirational lesson from a tough time. One that will motivate someone or have a shimmer of positivity. One that I feel is worthy to be published under Project Wednesday. It hasn’t happened… either due to one of the many reasons I am “too busy” or the endless other excuses I have used to fill my free time.
In a way this sums up my 2017 – I find something I want to do, I plan it in my head and then just let it sit. I have been getting frustrated with myself for not finishing anything, continually feeling unaccomplished. However, reflecting back, it isn’t really the finishing part that has been the roadblock. It’s been actually starting. So here I sit, facing something I have been unable and unwilling to accomplish for months – starting. I still don’t have a positive message or inspirational story for you, but I have me.
If you were to ask me who I was this time last year, I would have spewed off a few lines about working towards my dream career of being a Registered Dietitian, my love for running, my motivation, unmatched work ethic and passion for new adventures. Today, if you ask me who I am, I don’t have an answer. Yes, I am now an RD. I still run on occasion. I get all the necessary things done, but I wouldn’t describe my work ethic or motivation as I once had. The new adventure is still enticing but my bed and/or couch typically win the battle. Nothing is wrong, but nothing is necessarily right either.
Everything is okay.
I read have read many different pieces with the message that it’s okay to not be okay. I agree. Everyone walks their own path, faces unique battles and, at one point in time, everyone has a moment of not being okay.
But what happens when everything is okay? When it’s not great but not bad either? When you’re not unhappy with where you are, but it’s not where you want to be, but you also don’t know where you want to be? What happens when you have settled in mediocrity and it’s okay?
Is it okay to just be okay?