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We do not have to let people or things decide how we feel.

We do not have to let people or things decide how we are feeling all day, everyday. 

I consider myself a very easy-going person with a positive outlook on life. I have friends and a career, and some material things, but I don’t let those things dictate my day to day life. Why would I? That’s not the right way to deal with my emotions and my feelings. Let’s say I have a bad day, do I look for others to cheer me up and to put me in a better mood or do I find comfort in food and other material things that will only bring that quick fix. Joy and contentment only for a little while  Until I’m in a bad mood again because that person or thing didn’t bring me enough happiness? 

If I have a bad day or let’s be real a bad five minutes, I don’t look at that  bad day and let it sit in me or let it boil over and ruin my whole day. I let myself feel the anger for a minute and then I turn that anger into a question that I ask myself. Why am I angry and If I can do anything to fix the situation. So, I move on and don’t dwell on it. I don’t ask others to cheer me up. I have outlets to help me cope. Whether that be with writing, listening to music or working out.  What do all this outlets have in common? They are coping skills I created for myself to get me in a better mood. It helps me not have to use people or things to determine my happiness. Not that my friends don’t bring me happiness, but I’m not dependent on it all the time. Having them in my life and having their friendship is enough happiness for me. I don’t look for them to give me constant happiness and contentment 24/7, that’s not their job, its mine.

For me personally, it was important to find those coping skills and to continue finding what works for me it is part of my own growth. Understanding what works best for me individually. It has taken me a long time to find these tools that work for me and I am still looking every day for tools that work. I think we as a society look for happiness and validation through things like social media, through likes, material things, and our friendships. If we don’t get that attention we so crave from others, if we depend on it, we become automatically in a bad mood.  

You have to look within yourself for that happiness and truly do the work if you want to be truly happy in your own life. That requires people to look within themselves and realize that only you can get yourself to where you want to be in life. It’s up to you and you alone. If society ever did that, we would be a more content society than we are now. Unfortunately, until this looking for happiness in other people and things stops it won’t get better.  I don’t think we will get there because not enough people want to do the work, but we owe it to future generations to do the work and show that happiness isn’t an outward job but a more internal job.

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