Losing a friend can be extremely painful. It’s difficult, it hurts everyone involved, and it can be the most frustrating thing that you’ve ever experienced. When people leave your life, it’s hard not to have negative feelings towards them.
When people have left me, I’ve felt a lot of negativity. I’ve wondered why they left and thought about the things that I could have or should have done better. I’ve thought about the things that went wrong in the friendship and wondered why they thought that I was so disposable.
The truth is, I was never disposable. The person may not have been a terrible person; they may have been just like me: trying to do their best. They might have thought that I didn’t belong in their future, so they cut me out of the picture. They might have also just been around for a free ride. When the perks of being my friend ended, the friendship went with it.
I’ve been in several friendships in which the person has caused me pain, and I’ve cut them out of the picture, too. Most of those times, that decision has been worth it. I do look back on those instances and wonder if there’s anything that I could have done differently, anything that could have saved the friendship.
I constantly wonder what I could have done to make my friendships last longer. I pour my heart and soul into friendships and don’t think twice. I’ll give until I have nothing left to give anymore. But sometimes, my friendships still go up in flames, and I don’t understand why.
This will cause anger, because I realize that my friends only stuck around to take advantage of my giving nature. The danger of giving to much to your friends is that you’ll trust them, love them, and put your heart and soul into the friendship, just to realize that they were never there for you. When there’s nothing left for your friends to take, they leave you.
It’s hard not to think negatively of these people. It’s hard not to lie in bed and let your anger at their disappearance boil over. But is that approach worth your time? It has not gotten me anywhere, and it won’t work for you, either.
Pain and anger are natural feelings, but do I wish my former friends pain? Do I want them to suffer? If I really look into my feelings, the answer is “no.” I don’t want to see my ex-friends hurt. Instead, I hope that they find happiness. These people that hurt me were hurt before they met me, and they’re doing their best. I don’t want them to stay stuck in that cycle of pain and suffering because they don’t deserve to stay hurt.
It’s taken me a long time to get to this point, but I wish my former friends all the best. I wish that they could find ways to cope and heal their lives. I hope that they find happiness without manipulating those around them. I hope that they find safety without harming others. I hope that they’ll be able to become someone that they’re truly proud of. I hope that they can find love and forgiveness within themselves. The world is full of negativity, but I don’t want their own negativity to consume them.
I hope that those who have hurt me find all the happiness in the world, and I hope that you can treat your former friends with the same love. Try to break the negative cycles of your broken friendships because a little bit more happiness can go a long way in this world.