Usually I am eager to sit down with my laptop and formulate all of my thoughts that I have been organizing in my brain into one cohesive story. However, this month, I noticeably was filled with more dread than excitement. Why? I love writing. I am beyond thrilled to be writing again after avoiding it for many years (that is a whole other story that I will save for a different day…)
This piece you are reading was not what I was originally going to submit for this month’s post. The truth is, I procrastinated (actually, avoided) working on anything until the night before my deadline. I came up with a very generic post citing 5 tips on how to handle stress, which I also still submitted, but the whole thing just felt off – as in, fake and lacking…
I did not want to submit anything just for the sake of submitting something. I want my pieces to be raw and vulnerable, and reach readers in a relatable way. So I decided that I needed to sit down and focus on writing the piece that I truly was meant to write this month.
As I sat in my office with the door closed and I asked myself “What are you running from right now?” – It hit me. There have been some pretty big decisions the universe seems to keep reminding me lately I need to make.
I have been on such a roll in 2017, building on so much momentum, and so many awesome things have been happening in my favor. However, there have been some areas of my life that I have purposely been avoiding because I am sidestepping making some serious decisions.
I am a Libra. I like to feel balanced. I loathe making decisions. Which is ironic because I am also very “Type A”, so I love to be the one calling the shots. How does that even make sense?
There are times when I am just so indecisive that I frustrate myself. Then I start to beat myself up over trying to figure out what I want, and I get flashbacks to a scene in the movie The Notebook when Noah is yelling at Allie “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!”
The thing is I don’t KNOW what I want. I mean, I do know, in terms of big picture. But I want a million things, and I am still trying to figure it all out.
My main problem is that I over think things to death, which leads to my extreme indecisiveness.
The only thing I can keep reminding myself is to take one day at a time. Rome was not built in a day, and not all decisions must be made and finalized this very second. Decision making is a part of life, and although it often times gets a bad rep for being “the bad guy”, it really is the unsung hero.
Yes, decision-making can make you uncomfortable and kick you out of your beloved comfort zone.
Yes, decision-making can force you to face some seemingly scary things head on.
Just remember, decision-making really has your best interest at heart if you are being true and authentic with yourself.
Transition is usually never a smooth ride, and there are almost always bumps in the road.
Maybe I still am not ready to face those big scary decisions I have been avoiding, but writing down these thoughts is a start.
I am saying out loud to myself (and writing it here for anyone else who might need a reminder): One day, when you are living your wildest dreams in real life, you will thank yourself for being brave enough to make those tough decisions that you so badly wanted to run and hide from.