Last year I had the opportunity to see a women by the name of Meg Medina speak at The Highlights Foundation. She spoke to everyone in the room, mostly writers and artists, about finding their underlying story line or purpose that you continuously tell or revert back to throughout each of your pieces. Although I was there filming her speech for work purposes, I found myself paying more attention to what she had to say than keep the camera focused. That is how I knew this was important. That is why I am sharing this today.
I have read many variations of a quote that talks about how you should be scared to publish the things you write about. Here it goes.
I have been battling depression for almost eleven years now – or at least that’s how long it’s been since I was told that is what was going on with me. I’ve been through therapy. I’ve been on and off of medications. I’ve had my fair share of breakdowns. I lived through most of this without ever really telling anyone.
The good news? I’ve been feeling much better in the last two years. I promise.
Depression looks different for everyone. For me, it’s when I fall quiet. It’s when I focus on something so intensely because I’m actually trying not to cry with other people in the room. It’s beating myself up over not doing or being enough. It’s telling myself I don’t deserve love or attention from others. It’s uncomfortable – especially because I now know that these things are not true.
Project Wednesday saved me. That’s one of the easiest and hardest sentences I have ever written. I think I just need you to understand that this exists because I know life isn’t easy and sometimes it doesn’t seem to be making any sense at all. Sometimes you need a simple pick me up because the beginning of your week sucked but sometimes you need to read about someone else going through something similar to you – something that is a little more serious or even a bit difficult to digest.
This is for you. This is for the individual who lives through their own hardships. This is for the individual who isn’t really sure what hardship looks like for another person. This is your reminder that not everything is at it seems and that there is great importance in looking beyond the surface – there is substantial significance in spending time with another human being just to simply “check in”.
Yesterday I received a text that read,
“What you do does matter. You matter. xo”
This text was everything I needed without realizing it. It reminded me that quick texts, phone calls, or messages are powerful. It is also fueling this next part:
Whether you’re having a bad day or going through something that feels like it has no end, I am here to tell you that you are going to be okay.
“Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing the best you can.”
Through friendships and various experiences I have learned that the power of our minds are incredible. You are a process. You are not whole in the best of ways. You have to leave room for positive growth and new experiences. You have the power to believe anything you tell yourself – good or bad – so you might as well keep it positive!
So why do I write? What is my underlying story line?
It is to acquire self-love. Self-happiness. Self-appreciation. In the most selfless of ways. It is also to help others figure those things out for themselves too.
I hope you know you are beautiful and brave and important. I want you to know you make a difference, you deserve love, and you are enough.
I want to know: Are you okay? Do you need to talk? Do you need to get anything off of your chest? Do you just need someone to listen? Do you need to sit quietly with another human being and just breathe? Please do not hesitate to reach out if you want to talk. I promise I will respond and be right there with you.
Peace signs and positive vibes,