365 Days-What a Beautiful Disastrous Year

The Month of February; The month of love.

The month my beautiful mother was born. And now it will mark the anniversary of when my dad told us he had cancer. I will never look at February as just another month again.

February 10, 2017, was the day my father began his victorious, and continuous fight against cancer.

While some believe in resolutions, I don’t. If anything I am more than aware of how precious life is. Life can certainly remind you to pay attention, and sometimes that reminder is harsh, cold and unbelievably scary. Life has a way of reminding you just how little control you do have. That whole Idea of being the only masterful captain of your ship-complete bull.

Your only true job is keeping your ship from capsizing, while you do your absolute best navigating the waters that you recognize as your life. We all do the absolute best at what have in the moment. I get that. But, when the waters calm some and begin to become manageable you realize The important stuff that withstood the storm with you, aren’t random as you once thought but necessary to your survival. For me, my big thing was self-preservation.

Anyone that truly knows me will tell you that I am the type to give my all with expectations that I will get back exactly what I give to someone. But, life has a way of showing you the truth. People live their lives in their own bubbles, and while that is not a bad thing it can leave to reevaluate life in general. I find myself obsessing the feeling that I have to be the first to reach out and make an effort to connect. That is no longer the case.

It is amazing how your focus automatically aligns, and what you once thought was a big deal isn’t anymore. The truth is people are who they are, and you either accept for who they are and where they are in that moment or you don’t. And you can do that while still loving them. The other truth I have come across is that while all paths in life are different for everyone, not all paths are by choice. And when you find yourself at the foot off one of those paths, you take a deep breath, close your eyes, and instead of walking by one’s own sight, their walking by their own sense of faith.

I recently watched a video clip of a sermon about faith where Pastor Steven Furtick asked the audience what they all thought the opposite of faith was. Someone shouted, “fear.” Another person shouted,“doubt.” And then, Pastor Furtick brought up a third option I never considered before myself. Certainty.

If you think about that for a moment, it makes sense. If you become so certain about nothing, then you don’t lean on the spiritual support system that your faith gives you in an array of situations. I believe that faith is one of the strongest versatile tools God can give us in helping us manage our everyday lives. And when you and your family find yourselves in one of the most important fights of your life your sense of faith automatically becomes bigger than the master you’re currently facing. And cancer is one mean monster to go into battle with.

As a family, we led my dad with our love, strength, and sometimes shaky faith to the other side. We know cancer will always be an adversary of ours we will have to contend to from here on out. And while cancer will never get a warm welcome from any of us, we will deal with it, because we simply have no choice.  As a family, we are stronger than any storm that comes to threaten and challenge us. And we will continue to do so as a family.

Close our eyes, take a deep breath, walk by faith, and can on the beauty life gave us we were given in these past 365 days… Because while there are always ugly storms to withstand inlay that is always something beautiful that breaks through after the storm clears to teach us. We are never alone in the battle.  That in my opinion, the true meaning of what a beautiful disaster is. The beautiful breakthrough that takes shape and presents itself afterword.

Jessica Niziolek

Jessica is the founder of and writes for The Abler - a blog that deals with topics with far too much stigma, and not enough education or knowledge. She is an advocate for the disability community. Jessica is also a contributing writer for MEDIUM.COM. Lastly, she is a coffee and chocolate junkie who loves heavy metal and rock music.

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