What the hell am I doing here?

I remember sitting there wondering, “What the hell am I doing here?” I spent an hour climbing, slipping, grabbing, huffing, and pushing until I got to the top. You see, views are my “something incredible” in life. An earned view means that much more to me. I am obsessed with mountains, hills, and the top levels of parking garages. I like to put myself in situations where I feel small – on purpose. It centers me. It reminds me that I’m just one tiny human in the vastness of the past, present, and future of this world.

I think there’s something inside of each and every one of us that questions the bigger picture. The “whys” and “what ifs” of time. We go through our lives facing immense challenges, invaluable triumphs, and at the end of the day we still are not completely sure what it is all for.

I like to learn about people. Observing is probably my favorite pastime. Catching people in moments when they are hiding their own truths pushes me further to better understand how we as humans really work. The more I go through this life, the more I realize how interconnected we all really are. Maybe that’s why I like views. When you are up that high everything starts to really come together. You are not just looking at your house, your family, your friends, your job, your material belongings, your church, your town, your troubles, your happiness. You are forced to see a bigger picture from above. You see all of the houses that make up your town, you see all of the cars traveling in all directions at every time of day, you see more than just yourself.

I am still wondering what the hell I am doing here, but in the best mindset there is. When we remove ourselves from the busyness of life for a short while, we can finally start seeing a bit clearer. By changing our perspective, by opening our minds to a new way of looking at the world, we are able to better understand our own purpose. Find your “something incredible” in life and be sure to spend time with it every now and again to remind yourself of the importance of the bigger picture.

Holly Pilcavage

Born and raised in Northeastern Pennsylvania, Holly K. Pilcavage, or simply hkp, is the founder of Project Wednesday and is also currently the Director of Business Development & Operations at CoalCreative, an Internet Marketing Company in downtown Wilkes-Barre. Holly was named a 2017 Top 20 Under 40 by the Northeastern Pennsylvania Business Journal, is a recent graduate of the 2018 Leadership Wilkes-Barre Core Class, as well as a Forbes 30 Under 30 Nominee and TEDx alum. She serves on the Board of Directors for Dress for Success of Luzerne County and attributes her additional time as a servant leader for various organizations throughout Luzerne County. Her truest passion is people. With a background in Business Development, Higher Education, and Life Coaching, Holly focuses her energy on the impact we are all making on one another and the inevitable ripple effect it causes throughout the world. She is currently on a mission to see all 50 states before the exciting age of 30 which means Holly travels as much as possible while taking the time to learn more about people and how we all fit together as individual puzzle pieces.

Leave a Reply