Stop Living a Life in Fear

Many of us don’t realize how much our past is dictating our now and our future lives. We think we’re smart, using all of those hard-earned lessons we’ve learned to build a future that avoids the past mistakes pains that we’ve experienced. Little do we realize that holding onto past occurrences only recreates them in our now and future lives.

The ego is a part of us that protects us from being hurt. It holds onto what has happened in the past and uses the fear of being hurt in the future to reiterate the message: Watch out, it will happen again.
This belief alone is enough to keep you stuck. Oh, and does it work!

The fear of re-living a past pain keeps us from enjoying our present. Instead of opening ourselves up to new experiences and outcomes, we shell ourselves away, saturated with the fear that it will happen again- whatever it was.

Whatever our mind focuses on becomes what we experience; our expectations become our reality. In a sense, we find what our mind is looking for. If our ego is tying to protect us from being hurt again, we are focused on pain; we will find and experience the pain that we are so desperately trying to avoid.

Why? Because what we perceive is what is real to us.

Until we let go of our past completely, we will never be able to move on and create new experiences. The way to let go of the past completely is by surrendering our fears.

Letting go of past fears is hard. Having those fears have kept us safe for so long, they’ve protected us from experiencing the same pain. However, it is essential to let them go in order to create a new reality.

Think of fears that you hold onto. Now read on to see how to let go of those fears.

Notice when your fears are being triggered.

When you feel that your fear is being triggered, take a breath and acknowledge it. Think to yourself “Ok, this is happening again. I can feel it.” Separating yourself from your fear helps you realize that you are NOT your fear, that your fear is a passing thought or feeling. You are disengaging from your fear.

Get clear with your fear.

What happened and what is it that you are afraid of happening again? Is it rejection? Not feeling good enough? Getting taken advantage of? Name it and even better, write it down. Getting clear about what the fear is and calling it out brings it to your conscious state of mind. If a fear stays flying underneath the radar, it can manifest into other symptoms like illnesses, physical symptoms, depression, frustration, anxiety, and more.


Forgiveness equals letting go. If you do not forgive, you, no one else, bears that stress in your heart. Forgiveness is being able to recognize that what happened was a mistake because you, the other person, or both, were acting out of a state of fear, and then willing to feel peace abut it and let it go.

Find peace within

It is your own, not any else’s responsibility for your happiness.  Once you stop focusing on your past fears, you can regain a sense of peace.

We rely heavily on the people in our lives to make us happier, and ideally, the people we surround ourselves with will lift us up and support us, however, their task is not our happiness.  Once we realize this, we can stop relying on others to feel safe.

Fear becomes present when we are focused on the past or stressing about the future. Once we become present with our thoughts and actions, the fear dissipates and we can reorient ourselves to recognizing that all is safe and well within and around us.

You are not your fears.  You have power over your fears.  You do not have to live your fears over and over again.
You can choose to create a different experience in this life.


Monique Hayes

Monique Hayes is an intuitive health coach, Reiki Master, bakeologist, and educator. After completing her MPH, she quit the corporate health world to pursue her own mission of helping people heal from the inside out. She loves working with people, helping them transform into the happiest and healthiest version of themselves. Healthy, delicious food, connecting with nature, understanding the wants and needs of your body, and being authentically you in an inauthentic world are extremely important to her.

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