365 days have come and gone. During this time, as most do I tend to reflect on what has transpired during the year through a series of questions; what did I set out to do? Where am I now? Where am I going?
I tend to focus the answers of these questions around my career. This is because it’s one of the most important things at the forefront of my life right now. At 25 years old I spend over 50 hours a week doing this job, I want to be sure I’m being fulfilled by this work.
Reflecting on 2018 the problem I keep revisiting is that I seem to ask the same questions and seem to come up short with my answers each year. While I’ve made subtle upgrades like getting promoted, I don’t feel like I’m making strides towards my grand plan.
The next problem I keep revisiting is what even is this grand plan? Every time I think I got it I seem to only check off 2 of the 3 boxes but never all of them to feel fulfilled.
Here’s an example:
Am I happy with my job? I enjoy my co-workers, great company, and it pays the bills, check. Did I ever think I would be staring at excel spreadsheets all day? No. Is it my end all be all? No. What is my end all be all? No clue.
I like to think I’m somewhat of a realist so checking off all the boxes seems impossible and quite frankly overwhelming. I’m also a believer and want to hope that one day I will. Then, the realist pops back in my head. I think how can I check off all of these boxes if I’m not doing anything different? But also how real is it to take a big leap and maybe go back to school when there are responsibilities like bills that need to be taken care of each month?
I’ve read countless articles and books about taking leaps. I’ve read about how these people feel the same way I do now and make amazing changes. I live in NYC, the motherland of opportunity. Maybe, I’m just being a chicken.
I recently saw a quote on HGTV’s show Fixer Upper. Real talk, yes I sit on my couch with wine and watch this show all the time and if I could go around making houses pretty I would do it in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, my only qualifications are the notes I take watching. Anyway, I saw a quote she had put on one of the walls that I want to take with me into 2019. It read:
“It’s not about how fast you get there, it’s about always moving forward.”
While 2018 is ending with unanswered questions and unchecked boxes, it has also given me the opportunity to continue to believe in myself more than ever. That I will work to have better answers to my questions next year and check more boxes in 2019.
At the end of the year it’s about being proud of my small strides and continue moving forward to figure out the bigger goals.