Imagine this scenario: You’re sitting in your room alone. Your phone has been silent for days, no one has checked in on you. No one has contacted you or worried about you in any way. You’ve been sitting in silence for what feels like forever. Whenever you leave the house, you see groups of people together, they’re laughing and smiling, walking around in groups and you’re out there by yourself. It feels like you’re on the outside looking in all the time. You want to reach out to someone, anyone. You want to talk to people and want someone to just listen to you. You want to be one of these people in the groups, but you have no way to let yourself in. Imagine what it feels like not to have a friend to lean on.
You never know what’s going through another person’s head. You don’t know what they’re thinking, what they’re going through. There’s no way to measure someone’s loneliness. We can barely imagine the scenario of not having someone. It’s easy to see who’s just out people watching, and who is looking for friendship. You can see when someone feels this loneliness, it’s normally written all over their face. Their sadness will glow through any facade that they put on for the world.
It doesn’t take much to make someone’s day. Making a new friend is difficult for some people – they may have anxiety. They may be afraid to walk up to a group of people and let them know that they’re interested in joining something. Sometimes, all it takes is a simple “Hello.” If you see them wearing something, or holding something, pay a compliment if it’s something that interests you.
Most people respond to things kindly. They’ll reply with a smile, and they’ll be willing to get on board with a new conversation. People need companionship, they need friendship. I’ve felt what it’s like to at least feel like I don’t have any friends or anyone to lean on. I know what it feels like to be the “friendless” one. It doesn’t feel good. All it would take to make my day is a kind smile, someone to say hi, start a conversation.
Even now, I know I have good, loyal, loving friends. I know that I can trust them and know they’ll be there for me. After having a group of friends and losing them, feeling that alone was the worst feeling. I made new friends, of course. They showed up at the most convenient times. I was lonely, I was feeling hopeless and depressed. I didn’t think that I mattered to anyone. My thoughts were constantly racing and I couldn’t grasp onto a single one without making myself more upset. All of the thoughts were constantly negative.
I thought losing my friends made me useless. I thought it took away my value, and I thought it didn’t matter. When these people took me on board as their friend, it was iffy at first. I was nervous, I was anxious, I was terrified. I didn’t know how to act around them, so I would just act like I thought they wanted. It took a while for me to feel comfortable and safe being myself.
I made more friends after that, and I made them by just being myself. I realized my own self-worth because of one person. They decided I was worth taking a chance on. It was difficult, and I was on edge all the time. I would walk out of their parties without saying a word. I would constantly look for a way to leave the area, map out every exit plan. It took a long time for me to trust them, to trust this group of friends.
You may know someone that feels the way I felt at that time. They may be sitting quietly, they’re on social media, but they don’t talk much. In person, they seem awkward, maybe even weird. People might not understand why they’re suddenly around. It doesn’t matter. These people are worthy. Take a chance on someone that doesn’t have anyone – take a chance on the quiet person, the person that seems like they don’t ever leave their home. Take a chance on the person that’s standing in the back corner of the room not talking. Just take a chance. Befriend the friendless person. They will love you, they’ll cherish the friendship, and they could potentially turn out to be one of the best friends you’ve ever had.