This morning I am exhausted. This 10-week-old little human woke up five times throughout the night. In actuality, I am exhausted every day because I get up with her every single night. I’m actually angry. I am angry because all of a sudden I have everything (and I mean everything) in life on my shoulders.

Gender roles have always defined the female as the role of the caretaker. The mother is the one who nurtures and cares for the baby, while the man goes off to make the money and provide for his family.  In 2019 women are expected to carry on past gender roles, as well as take on new ones. Some of these are good, others are… not so good.

Females are now the primary caretakers, but they are now also becoming the primary financial providers. All of a sudden we are expected to carry every burden on our shoulders (and don’t you dare complain about it, ladies, because that isn’t allowed these days, either).

As women’s roles are changing, men are not taking on additional roles or responsibilities. They are actually taking on less responsibility. And women are allowing it. I am tired of hearing, “Men just don’t wake up in the middle of the night,” “Men just aren’t as good at cooking and cleaning,” “Men just can’t care for a baby like a woman can.”

Men get to leave their families behind if they feel like it, but women are considered primary caretakers (even in a court of law). Men now complain about having to pay too much money in child support. Men also complain about not being able to go out with their friends every weekend while their partners didn’t even get to brush their teeth that day.

Women are expected to be fit and have their sh*t together, while men can be fat, lazy, and cheat if they want. Boys will be boys, right? They just can’t control what’s in their pants, but girls had better keep their legs closed (or else they’re dirty).

All of these new roles and expectations are too much for one person to handle. And why do we have to? “Hey, men! Get your sh*t together!”

Women can’t control men, but we can try to communicate and control ourselves. If communication doesn’t work, then we just have to continue to be the bada** b*tches that we are. I will raise my daughter to never rely on a man, but to never raise one, either.

Women should continue to change and grow, but we also don’t need to carry a man’s baggage.