What’s The Solution To Adulting?

Adulting sometimes sucks. And not just for the obvious reasons – bills, no daily naps, new aches and pains every day, laundry. I’m sure you get my drift. Today, adulting means making the hard choices for the benefit of your family and in the process saying goodbye to friends.

My life hostage and I are lucky enough to have amazing siblings who we truly count among our best friends. But then we have another group of people we know we can count on; our friends who have become our family. Living on the East Coast with most of my family in the Midwest, this group has become a crucial lifeline for me long before my life hostage brought his family into my world.

These are the people who have pledged that we will always love each other – the imperfections, the confusions, the mistakes – because that’s what friends are supposed to do. Basically, the people who would lay down in traffic with you if you asked them.

I don’t even know if I can pinpoint when or how we all became this close. It was one of those organic experiences you can never really explain. Honestly, I can’t even remember how some of us met but I do know when we recognize a new friend, it is often one of those Step Brothers movie moments.

“Did we just become best friends?”


We obviously stop short of doing karate in the garage.

And now we have to say goodbye to one of our friends. Because he has to adult. Please bear with me when I repeat, adulting sometimes sucks.

As adults, we’re in charge of making tough choices in life. Who the hell decided that was a good idea? I mean, if you’re anything like me, even into my 30s, I still look around for someone older than me if a child is looking for an adult. I pray there is a “real” adult standing behind me. Because I’m not an adult. Wait, am I an adult? When did that happen?

Opening up to people is hard. Really, really hard. Making friends when your biggest concerns in life were what was for snack time and if you were going to be finger painting was easy. You were either drawn to the kids who ate their boogers or you weren’t. Simple. But being an adult means becoming more closed off. You’re less trusting. Your needs are more complex.

And the logical side of you gets it when a friend has to move on. Their well being and that of their family comes first always. But then you begin to wonder how you live without the hugs, head rubs, and the highly inappropriate banter. That’s when the emotional side kicks in and you wish life was simple again.

What’s the solution to adulting? Unfortunately, there is none. It happens and it will continue to happen. And the times you want to throw yourself on the ground, pounding your fists, and crying? I say do it. I would say that is a much healthier coping mechanism than some others I can think of.

It’s not really goodbye my friend, it’s see you soon.

Rachel Olszewski

A hot mess held together on a daily basis by dry shampoo and probiotics, Rachel is still trying to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up but for now is a communications professional by trade. A true Chicagoan through and through, she is an East Coast transplant trying to set down roots. Although the height of her high heels may be getting shorter, Rachel’s expectations are not getting lower and she is on a mission to change the world one person at a time.

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