Maybe I really am beautiful.

We’ve all heard it, thought it, read it, felt it……… We need to love our bodies the way they are. We should choose to be “body confident.” But how do you even start the journey of self-love and acceptance?

I’ve hated something about my body since I was a little girl. I wasn’t as skinny as the other girls, I didn’t dress as pretty as the other girls, I couldn’t wear make-up as well as the other girls and so on and so on. (I’m sure the fact that I only had an older brother played a large role in my lack of girly-ness growing up.)

This started so young that I even talked my Mom into allowing me to have a mole on my neck surgically removed by my family doctor because I just didn’t like how it looked. How crazy is that!?! I must have been 14 or 15 at the time. I look back and think how ridiculous those thoughts were, especially for a young girl at that age. But that is the truth of the matter and is one example of a long history of body image issues I’ve had.

Fast-forward 10-12 years and I still can’t seem to accept my body for the way it is. My relationship with food and the number on the scale consume more of my thoughts in a day than they ever should. How can a number on a scale have so much power over me? How can food bring so much comfort to an anxious mind, sad heart or nervous tendencies? Why do I still allow these obsessions and negative thoughts to occur?

There are so many pieces to the puzzle, from emotional eating to body image issues to unhealthy amounts of gym time to try to combat the others, that it makes it difficult to just tackle one at a time.

However, just writing these words on this paper and sharing my struggles helps bring them to life. This allows me to confront them head-on. It’s still a daily battle, one I rarely feel like I am winning. But I’m fighting. Each and every day, I’m fighting. Why? Because I’m worth it. We all are. We all deserve to love ourselves and to not feel guilty for the way our bodies look.

I don’t know if I’ll ever truly “love” my body, but my body, my image of myself and my confidence are a constant work in progress and deserve my time and attention. I deserve to give myself the love and positivity that I give to others in my life.

Maybe I really am beautiful……

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