Lonely but Content

You are walking down a dusty and dry street, wondering when the rain will cover the road and when the rain will come down to cleanse your scars. Every step you take kicks up the dust. You can’t help but wonder when you will be good enough. Not only that, but when someone will want to wrap you up in their arms and love you without doubt or criticism. When I am often buried in my depression, these are just some of the thoughts that cross my mind when thinking about being lonely and dating with a disability.

The clouds come together to create a dark atmosphere, but soon the rain will be released. It will come and wipe away all of the fear and the hurt. I often wonder if I were not born with a disability, would dating be this difficult? Would I need the rain to tear apart my insecurities?

I can’t help but think that the answer may be no. I don’t think it would be that difficult and therefore, I wouldn’t need the rain to help erase all of the things I am afraid of. I know that a lot of people are afraid of what they can’t understand. Of course, I cannot expect them to understand if they have never been a part of my journey. I think to the majority of people, my life may be like the world’s most complicated maze. There are so many twists and turns, you are unsure how you will ever escape or how you will ever learn.

Maybe they are afraid to ask what I will need help with and what I won’t. Maybe they think I will find it offensive or rude to make such assumptions. However, the truth is that I am an open book when it comes to my disability. I don’t even mind personal questions as long as they are asked in an appropriate environment.

I am an independent person. I do not feel I need a man. In fact, most of the time, I am happiest when I am alone. However, I am also human, and I cannot help but wonder how things would be if circumstances may have been different. I am not the type to chase love. I will wait for it to come to me or happen naturally.

What I would like the world to understand is that while we may be disabled physically, but all we are asking is for the chance to be seen and heard. We want the same opportunities as the rest of the world while having an innate understanding that we may need a helping hand here or there. That is the only difference.

Karla Culbertson

Karla is a 33 year old independent writer. She is wheelchair dependent due to Cerebral Palsy, chronic pain, and hip dysplasia, but she does not let that stop her from enjoying life. It is Karla's goal in life to inspire and uplift others. She loves writing positive blog posts that may have the potential of inspiring others and bettering their lives.


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