Going through life living for others is a one way road to misery. You cannot always take care of the world. It is impossible to keep every single person happy. You know what? That’s okay. It is fine if you do something for yourself and someone else doesn’t like it. You have to live life for yourself. You have to do it for you.
I’ve spent so much of my life being a people-pleaser. I struggle with that to this day. I don’t know how to say no to people. I want to see others happy, a lot of the time I’ve put my wants and my needs on the backburner in order to take care of another person. It does genuinely make me happy to see others happy. It makes me feel great to see that others are in a better situation because of something that I’ve done.
I do genuinely care about these people, and once I care about someone it takes so much to make it stop – it actually never does stop. There are people that I haven’t spoken with in years, and I still care about them, and I can’t guarantee that I wouldn’t go out of my way to help them if they needed it. I’ve spent most of my life doing what others want, trying to appease them, thinking about the consequences that they’ll feel if I go through with my plans.
Even very recently I’ve put my hopes and dreams on the backburner. I have thrown away plans that I’ve made to make others happy. I’ve gotten so close to accomplishing a dream just to put it back because I don’t want to cause someone else pain.
Recently, though, after a wonderful conversation with the most influential person in my life, my mother, I’ve realized that I need to live my life for myself. I need to follow my dreams, I need to go through with plans that I’ve made. This isn’t just a want, this is a need. I’ve realized that my unhappiness is looming over me, and when someone cares for me, they see it. They will see this dark cloud hanging over my head.
I find myself crying regularly, and many times I’ve been told, or I’ve told myself that there’s no real reason for it. I let people in just enough to know when something’s wrong without actually telling them what’s going on – because I don’t want to let others down. I’ll have anxiety attacks, I’ll have panic attacks, I’ll put myself through this because I know that I’m unhappy with where I’m at.
It’s taken so long for me to realize that it’s not my job. It isn’t my job to make other people happy. I don’t need to put myself through this – I don’t need to suffer in order to make other people feel happier. I cannot make others happier when I’m struggling on my own. There’s no better time to learn the blunt truth: Live your life for yourself.
It’s a long road, and it’s a difficult path, but I’m learning how to do this. It’s unhealthy, and it takes a mental, emotional, and physical toll on someone in order to put everyone else before themselves. If your happiness and your life depends on what you think you need to do for others, you won’t feel happiness. Maybe a temporary bit of pride at what you’ve done, but in the end, what about your true happiness?
I think that it’s time for me to finally be done with that piece of my life and I need to move forward. By no means am I saying to be a selfish person and only care about yourself – let your love and kindness show through. Don’t become a bitter, hateful person, just become someone that loves yourself first.
What you’re doing with your life should be for you. It should be for your happiness. On the path to happiness, there are going to be others that are going to be angry, upset, frustrated, many different emotions. If they choose to walk out of your life for doing what’s best for you, then they are not people that deserve a place in your life.
I’ve said it once, twice, three times, and I’ll say this several more times until it sticks: Live your life for yourself. At the end of the day, you’re the one that’s with your thoughts, you’re the one that’s inside your head. If you’re not happy, then make some changes. It may be easier said than done, but if people can’t support your changes, let them go. This is your life, and it’s all up to you who you decide to live it for.