I’m gonna miss everything about you

I started avoiding looking at the date, I started deserting my phone, my mornings are all the same; wake up, feel like something is being taken away from me, and conceal. I started drawing back from the world because of the too much that I need to say; sadly couldn’t be put in words; immense feelings are not to be colloquial.

Here I’m attempting to open up about everything and everyone I’m leaving behind.

Starting with the continent I’m leaving, to waking up in another room, to seeing other faces than the ones I’ve been familiar with, to everything I can’t leave behind as they have big different parts of me. To everything, I used to do and everywhere I used to go. To all the places I I felt warm and secure in, to the smell of my books, to all my belongings that I cannot pack with me, to every shade of comfort I took for granted and thought everlasting, to my mum’s irreplaceable hug. To all the loved ones that I used to see every day. I’m going to terribly miss you!

Leaving is heartbreaking, I’m leaving for starting a new journey with some pieces inside me that are incomplete and dreary. Words will fail me, but trying is all I got.

I’m gonna miss being here with you, sharing all the details I used to share, feeling every ounce of sadness before the happiness. I’m gonna miss our unplanned outings and all the birthdays we celebrate together, I’m gonna miss having a shoulder to lean on whenever I need to.

To my best friend and my close ones, you’ve always been my primary hideout and my counselors, I will miss watching you develop the way you do every day. I will miss being with you whenever I need. I’ve asked you before and will ask you again, don’t you walk out on me, don’t abandon me and call me every day, if I ever told you that I need you, it doesn’t mean a thing of how I mean it now. I will miss listening to new music with you, but I know that this all is for the best.

To those who I randomly talked to one day, I hope I’ve given you something that you can remember me with, don’t ever hesitate to check on me, I’ll always appreciate it.

To my favorite mentor, you’ll always have that place in my heart that won’t be occupied by anyone else. Everything you ever taught me and every time you gave me the support I need you will stick by to guide me on my new journey.

To my family, I might have not been a good daughter but I’ve always tried, it was hard to balance between my desires and spending time with you, but at least I tried to be there when you needed me, know that you belong in my heart even if I failed in showing it.

I guess I’ll always have that kind of discontentment that I have with this country that its future is not promising enough, so we keep facing the heartbreak of everyone leaving one by one, I’ve always said goodbye, to my dearest ones over and over, and now, it’s my turn to say it, and feel it.

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