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How I turned self-loathing into self-acceptance

Once upon a time, I was feeling that I’m not enough, for anything or anyone. I always believed that there’s “better” to what I’m doing, and “better” is not in my capabilities. Satisfaction was so out of my reach and self-criticism was non-stop. Stumbling and falling were what I knew best. I used to put my endless faith and unwavering trust in things that have no ability to last.

I was lost and reliant – I wanted people to find me. The downs I faced as the consequences of my decisions were as heavy as this planet. I lost the purpose of living. I became a stranger to myself. I’ve wanted my days to pass by aimlessly and in turn I forgot that my life will end soon enough and that I’m here for a reason. That is when I realized that I’m too precious to let anyone mess with this piece that I have: my soul.

Our souls are not around the corner to find, it takes a strong will and bullet-proof determination to cherish it the way it is, without allowing each and every passerby to give their opinion about it. I’ve been longing to find it in all the places where it wouldn’t be, while I should have been looking in one place, myself!

I forgot that I existed too. I had to reconstruct the empire of myself that’s been forgotten with the endless irrelevant things that took my attention.

Now, I know that I’m worthy of every ounce of love.

I deserve to be treated better than I ever treated anyone. I’m sufficient for this world to take me as I’m. I don’t need readjustments to fit into anyone’s world. I’m created by a perfect god and I trust that he wouldn’t have sent me to this world if I’m incomplete or need more processing.

Now, I believe that I’m more than enough.

I relentlessly care, I unconditionally devote, I selflessly give, and I am a perfectly put-together-puzzle with no misplacements.

I now love myself more than I ever did, I cherish my existence in this world that I once despised. I accept being flawed and I know for sure that I am not disastrous.

I no longer feel worthless; for my value is inestimable.

I know how to dream again. I know how to liberate my thoughts from the shackles that this world has created. I now know how to manipulate those self-loathing thoughts into absolute self-acceptance.

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