Sometimes having an aimlessly wandering heart can be heavy to digest and accept, especially for a 23-year-old girl who’s seeking settlement. This internal conflict can cause plenty of contradicting tides within her.
She knows by heart that every incident she has faced reflects God’s perfect timing. She has witnessed it herself in almost every aspect of her life.
My dear Lord, my weariness and impatience are not out of a frail faith. I undoubtedly comprehend that you would neither abandon me nor forget me. Please excuse my times of error, the moments when I’m drowning in my enervated thoughts. Excuse me as I question human nature. Excuse my faulty mindset of “Maybe I could’ve done better,” as I forget that what’s meant for me will find its way out to me, even if it’s universes apart.
No matter how strong my faith is in the plans I lay down, You surprise me with everything You have in store for me. Your plans always surpass what I had in my mind. You’ve always granted me more than what I secretly asked You for, which has given me unfaltering certitude, regardless of those who tell me that my faith in You is bogus.
Excuse me if I get anxious when You don’t respond to my prayers. Excuse me for forgetting those countless times when you gave me necessary strength. I know that You will always unconditionally make me stronger, despite my sins.
Excuse me for the times when I feel down, oblivious that you are my Lord. How can I feel miserable when you are watching over me every step of the way?
Excuse me when I’m being tedious, even as I know that the beauty of Your creation is everywhere. Excuse me for being intolerant while You process my plans to present them to me at a time when I can feel the euphoria I’ve been longing for.
Forgive me for the times when I’ve been impatient, especially when You postponed my prayers. I know that You are only going to grant me the best. I spend a considerable amount of time thanking you, not only for what You have blessed me with, but also for not giving me what I have been insisting on.
Thank You. Thank You for preparing me for any hardship that comes my way. Thank You for giving me a mind that can fathom Your wisdom in the change of plans I’m facing.
Thank You for Your promise that You will never burden a soul beyond what it can bear. I believe for sure that this too shall pass.
Thank You for Your endless blessings and non-requisite mercy.