I am a disabled, so I need to ask others for help on a daily basis, usually to complete tasks that I can’t do alone. I also run a community service group, and when I host a donation drive, I need to request the group’s help. However, when I feel like I should ask for what I need mentally, whether it’s phone call from a friend or an opportunity to socialize, I struggle.
Some of my past friendships I have made me feel like I’m asking for too much, even though when I look back, I realize that I asked the wrong people.
Recently, I’ve gone through some personal challenges that left me feeling drained and emotional. I wanted my friend to come over and be with me to improve my mood, but I was too apprehensive to ask. I even admitted that I was hesitant to ask for my friends to help me when I need it, but my friend assured me that I should never feel bad for asking for help.
That moment was a turning point for me. Now, I’m more open to asking others for whatever may benefit me. I’v learned that holding back on asking for what I need only does more harm than good. If I hold in my needs, I may explode and have trouble receiving help in the future.
Society has trained us to not ask for help because in society, independence is one of the most important values. If we have to ask for help to meet our needs, we may feel like we’ve done something shameful or that we don’t have our lives “together” enough to manage on our own.
The truth of the matter is that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. If you struggle to ask for help, you aren’t alone in your insecurity, but you should work to fight against it. If we all practiced being acceptance of others and ourselves asking for help, we as a society could approach life with a much more open, nonjudgmental attitude.