I’ve always had a difficult time talking to people. My emotions bottle up, and I don’t know how to express them. Eventually, I shroud myself in blinding negativity and won’t be able to point out the positives in a situation.
Negativity has been an ongoing struggle in my life, and I don’t always know what to do about it. I’ll let it stare me in the eye, like a monster I don’t know how to escape. It’s always there, taunting me.
Years ago, I started to keep a journal. Now, I have a shelf filled with journals. Some are half-filled; others are complete. When I look back on these journals, I realize that I’ve filled them with negative thoughts. They’re angry. They’re full of frustration and sadness. They’ve made me question what I can do to live more positively.
I recently started trying to balance my negativity with positive thoughts. For every negative comment in my journal, I write two positive ones. I tell myself that even though my days may not be wonderful, they aren’t all bad, either. I remind myself that the day was beautiful and I had the opportunity to share my story, accomplish tasks, and live. It’s sometimes hard to believe that simply living another day is an accomplishment in and of itself, but it is.
Looking at the way that I used to think has opened my eyes. I realize that I was the one that brought myself negativity. You can’t cure your negative thoughts just by noticing that you’re feeling gloomy. Recognizing your negativity does, however, help you realize that your dark thoughts aren’t your only ones.
Once in a while, I’ll still have angry days and let the darkness override the light. But I’m willing to admit my negativity and always fight to see the silver linings in life.
My perspective has changed since I’ve recognized my dark thoughts. I allow them a fleeting moment in my head and then, I release them. I allow myself 10 or 15 minutes to live in the negative and when my time’s up, I drift back into positive thoughts, which has helped me tremendously. Guided meditation and deep breathing in particular has allowed me to stay mindful once I’m done with my period of rumination. It helps to have something calming to fall back on once those thoughts are over.
Once I decided that I was done letting my negative thoughts control me, my life became happier. I know that I rule my day, so I’ll let myself have a good day every single time I wake up. The truth is, once you change your perspective, you can also change your life.