Today is a gray day. A day when it may be hard to find your smile. A day when you’re feeling like holding on to hope is well…hopeless. Today you’re reflecting on all of the could have, would have, should have beens….What you need to know though is that, this too shall pass. This is just a passing storm cloud and shortly, it’ll be blue skies again. Just hang on.
You always tell people to own their emotions. That if they are feeling blue or lonely, to embrace and process it rather than mask or minimize it. Allow yourself the same freedom. Process. Cry. Grieve. Watch the episode of New Girl where Nick drunkenly yells at the mountain (you know that always makes you smile). Next, take the other advice you give your loved ones and give your grief an expiration date. Allow yourself to feel bad for a certain (preferably short) amount of time and then get back to having a more positive outlook.
The reality is that outside of this moment, you know you have beautiful friendships: old, new, deep, surfaced- all of them beautiful in their own right. You have a supportive mother who sometimes drives you nuts but at the end of the day, would go to the depths of hell in solidarity with you. You have an amazing girlfriend you waited years to find who makes you laugh from the bottom of your belly and fills every moment you both spend together with the utmost joy. Your basic needs are taken care of on a daily basis from a God who loves and created you. You are safe, loved, secure and so damn blessed.
Get back to that gratitude list you were writing daily. That helped. Call Nikki, she always knows what to say. Call Sara, she’ll snap you out of it and make a plan with you. Text Kristen and Brittany, there always there even if physically far away. Go take Annie on a walk and relish at the shapes of the clouds, the chirping of the birds and the sun on your shoulders.
This too shall pass. You too shall rise.