Are you one of those expecting the unexpected in life? Are you making any plans to see the next solar eclipse on August 21st knowing that you would be very sad if you don’t get to see it? Are we asking too much from life? I personally tend to over analyze my surroundings and be cautious as I walk the path of life. However, I learned that I had to embrace vulnerability because sharing my feelings will help me project my sense of love, belonging, joy and empathy.
At the end of my school year during 5th grade, I was at home when my Mom fell very sick. I was the only person around and we decided to ask for help so I could bring my Mom to the doctor. I remember very clearly waiting outside the doctor’s office without knowing what was happening. I was crying and trying to find an answer because it hurt very much to see her that way. When we were back home, she didn’t mention anything to me. I was left in the edge of an abyss. Later that night, my Dad arrived from work with a doctor to see her, and again, I was not allowed to enter the room along with my siblings. What was the outcome of that visit? She left that night to be hospitalized. A big hug and a kiss from her, that’s everything I remember… Painful days of incertitude invaded my soul while I patiently believed on her return, but she was gone. I think about her every day.
How does grief feel? It feels like being submerged into the waters of pain, solace, absence, sadness, physical and emotional exhaustion accumulated in the back of the brain. Difficult to respire and waiting for a wave of relief. Overwhelming feeling carrying tears with a mental breakdown. It feels like the love I embraced and I thought I could keep forever.
Grief taught me to be stronger because the love of my Mom lives in me. The end of relationships dragged me to these waters reminding me how vulnerable I was after taking my risks and my chances with love, but time and practice at swimming makes me navigate safely to the next shore. I cope with grief by surviving love, by surviving through my losses because this process made me see the light. I am grateful and very lucky to walk the paths of beautiful imperfections. Thank you for the gift of incredible human beings.
Compassion, joy and happiness will shine through the peace of our souls.
Be patient, be kind, be present.
I am from Colombia and I am very proud to be from that beautiful country. One of my great passions is life because I have walked this path by sharing it with amazing people. People that have taught me to see the world in a very different way. Extraordinary individuals have showed me what I have never could discover by myself.
I am an eager reader of science, poetry, politics, and music (yes, the meaning and composition of song lyrics). I have a great appreciation for art, languages, and the expression of everyone’s perspective seen from the lens of a camera.
I love Astronomy and one day I will be in space. I am a Research Scientist in Corrosion Engineering and writing is a great way for me to tell the world how I feel.