We all try our hardest to increase our self worth. We might realize our eating habits are horrendous and it is time to begin a new eating plan. Maybe those few pounds we gained turned into too many pounds, and we need to start a new exercise program. How about when you catch yourself watching too much Netflix? Maybe it is time for a new hobby to get our creative juices flowing, or just get our blood flowing for that matter. We might be bored and need to take a class to learn something we know nothing about, or it’s finally the right time to study that one thing that has always interested us but we never pursued. Whatever it is, we must change our day to day routine, move forward and make some sort of progress so that we become a better version of ourselves.
For me, this is not as easy as it sounds. It’s not that I don’t have the motivation to get started with a new routine, it is that the universe does everything it can to keep me still. To keep me where I am. To not let me move up in life. I’m sure you have experienced this before.
I really want to blame what is happening to me on a string of bad luck, but I’m not sure that is entirely truthful or fair. I don’t really believe in luck, so it’s a little hypocritical for me to make that assumption. I believe you can accomplish anything you put your mind to, no matter how hard or simple the task. The “bad luck” is the universe, and it’s never ending endeavor to keep its energy calm and still. When we try to change ourselves, we are trying to shift our own wavelengths. In a way, we are creating chaos in the cosmos.
My most recent clash with the universe began about three months ago when I started working with a personal trainer. I realized that my efforts for exercising and being healthier were not working, so I asked for some help. I aspire to be healthier in all facets of my life, and I knew if I could start exercising more, I would then start eating better, and then become more productive in my everyday life. It started out pretty good. I met with my trainer once per week for a workout, and then sometimes I would even do a workout of my own in between meetings. Yeah, I’m a terrible client. Anyways, to help with my resistance to change, I ended up purchasing a program from her to do on my own. I figured this was a good idea because I am motivated by money; I always need to get my money’s worth!
The next two weeks were great, I did my scheduled workouts as described in the program, and I was feeling strong, healthy and successful. I still met with my trainer once a week for an extra, harder workout, and everything was moving forward. That is, until my father-in-law passed away unexpectedly. Cue a week long trip to my home state, more stress than I’ve ever experienced, trying to, well needing to, be the strong one when I wanted nothing else than to break down, spending money I didn’t have, and getting behind on my own bills while trying to settle his affairs. The list is pretty long, and even though I know other people go through struggles like this because “this is life,” it sucks. It makes you question everything. (Which is a discussion for another time, so I won’t even go there). Call me selfish, but I couldn’t help but ask myself “why did this happen when I was finally making progress in my life?”
Let’s skip ahead another month or so. I’m back working out, doing my at home stuff and meeting my trainer weekly. My husband surprises me by deciding he is going to go out of town for a week. Unpaid. Remember when I said I am money motivated? A week without his paycheck is a big deal for us. It’s ok though. We can make up the difference. Plus, this is to better himself, to attend an event that will benefit his future, so I can’t say no. Everything will be fine.
Until I throw out my back while reaching for the litter box the day he leaves.
Yes, really. Not only am I home alone for an entire week, but now I can’t do my household chores without gasping for air. Working out is not even an option. Is this a sign? Should I just quit working out? Should my husband stop pursuing his dream because these bad things keep happening?
This is not the first time I’ve experienced this same exact scenario. Recently, it seems my struggles, resistance, upsets, call them what you want, are a little more excessive than I’m used to, but that must mean there are big changes in my future. If I let a little “bad luck” hold me back or completely stop me from moving forward, I’ll never get to where I want to go. I will admit, if stay where I am I could have a very comfortable life; be semi- productive and semi-successful, go to work, pay the bills. Why settle for ordinary though? Why not keep pushing through the force fields around us and create a little, or a lot of, chaos and see where it takes you? Why not do it right now? I hope a little back pain, a late payment fee, or an unexpected upset isn’t keeping you from striving for and achieving the life you deserve.