The Honeymoon Stage – A place where everything is going right for your relationship. You have it all… the hot boyfriend/girlfriend, an argument-free relationship, constant butterflies when you see them, and the romance and sparks are flying. Your love can conquer the world and you feel as though your relationship is untouchable. What can possibly go wrong?
Reality. Reality is where it all goes wrong!
As those of you who frequently read my stuff know, I am all about writing about my personal life. Personal = Relatable. Well, this piece is no different! My boyfriend, Mike, and I had a kickass honeymoon stage. So, when that honeymoon stage decided to come to an end, I guess you can say it felt like the relationship was over.
As harsh as it sounds, the excitement of the relationship slowly fades away, along with those butterflies you get whenever you see your significant other (S.O.).
You begin to notice annoying things about them that you once overlooked. For example, Mike enjoys taking his socks off when sitting on the couch, and throwing them into the corner of the room. (Yes, you read that sentence correctly.) For the first few months in our new apartment, this didn’t bother me. I would gladly walk past the socks, smiling, and pick them up and throw them in the hamper. No biggie! It’s only a pair of socks right? Well… if I told you that I still walk past those socks, and don’t want to rip my hair out every time I see them, I would be lying to you. This may seem dramatic to some of you, but those of you past the honeymoon stage will understand…
I. Hate. Those. Socks. I have actually developed hatred for his socks, and because of this, we have argued… over socks…
Also, makeup becomes a thing of the past. The need to obsess over how we look begins to change. By this time, your S.O. has already been impressed by you and the relationship takes a turn to become more comfortable. Bring on the sweatpants and ponytails!
You will also notice that your S.O. is a little more honest than you remember. The days of ‘Does this dress make me look fat?’ – ‘No! You are a goddess!’ — over. I am not saying your S.O. is now going to criticize your appearance. Let me give another example.
In the honeymoon stage, I could have wore a trash bag and Mike would have been ooo-ing and aww-ing. (My favorite part of the honeymoon stage, if we are going to be honest.) Well, one day, I decided to change the way I was styling my hair. I walked out of the bathroom and said ‘What do you think?’, expecting the same ooo-ing and aww-ing. Mike replies, ‘It’s okay. I think it looks nicer the other way.’ There I stood, shocked, questioning who this monster thinks he is and why I would subject myself to such cruelty.
Joking aside, I wish the honeymoon stage was permanent, but, unfortunately, it’s not. The reality is, every couple goes through the end of the honeymoon stage, and it sucks. But, I am here to tell you that it doesn’t have to suck! Here are some ways to survive the end of the honeymoon stage!
DO NOT stop date nights!
I feel as though couples stop having date nights once their relationship turns serious. What sense does this make? Date nights do not mean watching a movie on the couch. Get up, dress up, and go out! Make plans together. Set up a certain day of the week to have a date night. By continuing to date each other, you are keeping the excitement in the relationship.
Do something new together.
Relationships become repetitive and comfortable. So, try something new that neither of you have ever done before. Do something together that forces you to come out of what is comfortable. For example, Mike and I just recently went to an overnight ghost hunt at Pennhurst Asylum, which scared me to death. We also have talked about taking a cooking class together, because we live off of cereal haha. Do something that will make you more knowledgable, something creative, different, scary, and fun!
Reflect on the fun times.
Reflecting on the fun memories you experienced together will help you revisit the honeymoon stage, and can help bring you both close together again!
Keep the sparks alive!
Do not let the romance and intimacy die! This is vital for a relationship to survive the end of the honeymoon stage. Keep trying to impress each other both romantically and in terms of being intimate. Sometimes couples become lazy in this category because they are used to the routine. Change it! Who says routines aren’t meant to be broken? Spice things up by trying new things, sweeping your S.O. off their feet, and keeping them on their toes.
Remember why you fell in love with them.
Go back to when you first met them. What gravitated you to him/her? What about them made them interesting to you? Do not forget the reason why you’re in the relationship in the first place. Is it their sense of humor, good-looks, personality, work ethic? Go back to what brought you both together and don’t forget it!
So, my fellow honeymooners, do not panic once your boyfriend starts throwing socks and telling you that your hair looked better a different way! haha. Every couple goes through this transition and it is perfectly normal. HOW you handle this transition is what really matters. Relationships are a lot of work and will not remain perfect and shiny. When you take the steps necessary to survive the end of the honeymoon stage, your relationship will benefit immensely. You will be closer than ever. What happens after the honeymoon stage is what is most important. 🙂