We Regret to Inform You…

To say my journey to finding a job over the past few months was discouraging would be an understatement. In my mind I thought that this is when all my hard work was going to pay off. I had excelled in my undergraduate career, received a placement in my first choice dietetic internship, and earned great evaluations from all of my preceptors. I started my job search with a strong resume and reached out to the hiring staff at many of the jobs to which I had applied. I was confident that I would get whichever job I set my heart on, as long as I worked hard enough for it.

Well, surprise to me! That’s not how it worked out. Just over a month ago was the first time I realized things were going to go a little different than planned. An email came across my inbox:

“We regret to inform you that we have moved forward with the search and have made an offer to another candidate.”

I didn’t get the job I so badly wanted and this was just the beginning.  I didn’t get my back up job …Or my back up, back up job. I didn’t get a job doing anything I thought I wanted to do as a Dietitian. I got my last resort.

This is now my second week working at my last resort. As I was leaving work today, I got an email about a job I had spent countless hours waiting around, with my phone ringer turned all the way up, hoping to get a call from.

We regret to inform you that another candidate whose qualifications more closely matched the requirements of the job was selected.

A few weeks ago this would have added huge twist to the roller coaster of emotions I was already riding through my job search. But, today it was different. Today I read:

We regret to inform you this is not where you’re supposed to be.

So often we are dissatisfied with where we are because it doesn’t match what we had pictured in our minds. We feel like we’ve disappointed ourselves, fallen short of being enough. In reality, there are times that the picture in our mind is not where we are supposed to be. Everything happens for a reason, all we can do is give our best. That’s enough to get us where we’re meant to go.

Keep your head up

K

Kara is a originally from Gordonsville, Virginia and is a recent graduate of James Madison University. She is now pursuing her career in Nutrition and Dietetics in the D.C./Maryland area. When Kara isn’t thinking about, talking about, making, photographing or actually eating food, she enjoys adventuring outside, running half marathons and spending time with her chinchillas, Milo and Asher.

Yes, and…

Yes, and-ing.

No, this is not technically a word, but it is something we can all use to grow! If you’ve ever watched an improv show you’ve seen how the performers always take each other’s ideas and run with it. This is what makes it so interesting – every performance is different and you never know what crazy thing is going to happen. The yes, and technique is used in improv as the performers’ agreement to accept the idea that has been presented as reality – even when it puts them on a different planet or makes them a different species.

Whose Line is it Anyway is a great example of this concept. During this show the cast members are given random scenarios, personalities and/or props to create a skit around. Imagine how much the performance would change if there was one cast member who kept saying “no” to everyone else’s ideas. It not only inhibits the skit from moving forward, but it makes for a really terrible performance.

You don’t do or watch improve regularly? You still experience this – think of working in a group with that one person who constantly shoots everyone’s ideas down. If that person started saying yes to ideas, the entire group dynamic would change!

You may also experience this at a more personal level in regard to the situations life presents you. If you haven’t heard the quote already, it’s worth taking some time to let it sink in;

“Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.”  ~ Charles Swindoll

It’s not unusual to feel like we lack control over some of the things life hands us, but the key is how we react to these things. It’s really easy to think “no this isn’t how things are supposed to be!” This, however will get us nowhere. What if we started saying yes, and to everything life gives us?

The and here is really important. If we say yes, but it doesn’t get us much further than a no. Think about it:

Yes, that’s a great idea, but we don’t have time for it.

Yes, I got a B on my exam, but I wish it was an A.

Yes, I got a promotion, but it wasn’t as much money as I wanted.

The but still inhibits growth, whether it’s of an idea or a person. So, I challenge you to yes, and not only the ideas of the people around you, but to everything that happens in your life. Each situation presents us with an opportunity to grow and learn. It’s there for us to build another step to where we are going, if we decide to say yes, and.

Kara is a originally from Gordonsville, Virginia and is a recent graduate of James Madison University. She is now pursuing her career in Nutrition and Dietetics in the D.C./Maryland area. When Kara isn’t thinking about, talking about, making, photographing or actually eating food, she enjoys adventuring outside, running half marathons and spending time with her chinchillas, Milo and Asher.

I am uncomfortable.

I am uncomfortable…This feeling is a constant in my life recently. This is partially because I’m naturally awkward but also because I’m in the midst of deciding what I want to do with my life. My dream of becoming a Registered Dietitian is coming to fruition, but I don’t know what I want to do from here. For the first time I do not have a long term goal I am working towards, and having endless possibilities is only making it harder to narrow my focus and motivation.

I guess you could say I’m molting.

Crabs grow very differently than humans because hard outer shell cannot grow like their body. When crabs begin to feel uncomfortable in their current shell, they start the process of molting; shedding their shell and growing a new one.

They take in water, swelling their bodies and cracking their shell in half. Underneath, a soft, new shell separates from the old one. In the midst of shedding its old shell, the crabs often leaves behind its esophagus, stomach lining and part of its intestine! At this point, the crab’s shell is still soft – leaving it vulnerable and reliant on its surrounds for protection from predators. The new shell begins to harden within the next few days, fully developing within a month.

When humans grow bigger, we just buy new clothes. However, there are some lessons we can learn from crab’s physical growth that can be related to our personal growth as humans:

    Growth begins with being uncomfortable. Not comfortable with where you are? This is your signal it might be time for a new shell! It’s easy to think of ourselves as permanent figures, but in reality we’re constantly changing. You are not the same person you were 5 years ago, 1 year ago or even yesterday – and you can’t expect yourself to be.
    Sometimes the breaking point is just the beginning. You’ve all been there – you’ve reached the breaking point in a situation and it seems like your whole life crack right down the middle. This is not the end and definitely not the time to give up. It’s time to shed your old shell and start growing something that fits better.
    You need to leave some of yourself behind to continue to grow. You can’t move forward while carrying all the same things with you. Some things have to stay behind – things that might seem crucial at the time (like an esophagus or intestines — you’re not a crab so keep these!).
    You’re going to be vulnerable. Growth means making changes, taking chances and being vulnerable to new circumstances and the criticism of others. Vulnerability doesn’t always mean you’re going to get hurt or something bad is going to happen. It just means the risk is greater than it is inside your comfort zone. Remaining confident in yourself is key to surviving the feeling vulnerability.
    It’s okay to depend on those around you. No one can succeed all on their own. People need people, especially in times of change. Accept this, and ask for help! Sometimes just having someone to talk to is what you need most to make it through the changes.
    You’ll grow a new shell that fits just right. Change is a good thing! It might not seem like it at this moment but the new shell you’re growing is going to be just what you need. While there’s no guarantee when your shell will grow, have solace in knowing that it will sooner than you think. Enjoy the process of developing it!

    Happy Molting
    Kara

    Kara is a originally from Gordonsville, Virginia and is a recent graduate of James Madison University. She is now pursuing her career in Nutrition and Dietetics in the D.C./Maryland area. When Kara isn’t thinking about, talking about, making, photographing or actually eating food, she enjoys adventuring outside, running half marathons and spending time with her chinchillas, Milo and Asher.