5 tips for my next 26 years, that I wish I knew for my first 26 years:
Smile first. Say “Hi!” first. Be the first to introduce yourself at an event where you know nobody. Be the first to speak up for something you believe in. Go up to the person you’ve been staring at and be the first to ask a question. Whatever it is, go first. How many relationships have you passed up on? How many opportunities have you lost? How many memories have you not made because you were hesitant to go first and make your move?
If There’s Resistance, You Need To Do It
Ever heard of the compound effect? One small decision (or lack-thereof) will slooowly snowball into another, into another, and build upon the one before it. Well how many times have you been faced with a decision and there’s a part of you saying “YES, dooo it!” and there is another part that doesn’t say anything at first but just holds you back, kind of paralyzing you in your own thought.
I’m here to tell you that is a good sign! Whenever we are faced with something that will help us grow the most, it’s really fucking scary. Our body goes into a freeze-mode to protect us. Often times we give in to that feeling because we know, what we know, and that is safe for us. The next time you are feeling that, take a deep breath, count to 3 and do it anyways. You can thank me later.
No One Cares, Stop Judging
…not about you! But about the things that you are doing. People are so caught up in their own world of worries and to-dos that they aren’t paying attention to what you are doing. So go try new things and make a fool of yourself doing it. Stop judging yourself, stop judging other people. Judgments come from insecurities we feel within. The next time you find yourself judging- ask yourself “why?”.
Energy Is Everywhere, Use It Wisely
Everything is made of energy. We are constantly submerged in our own energy, the energy of others, the energy of nature, everything. What are you focusing your energy on? If you are focusing your energy on everything that could go wrong or everything that you don’t have then you better believe that what you get and what you see will be everything that could go wrong and everything you don’t want. Shift what you are focusing your energy on and notice how everything around you will start to shift as well.
Focus On Embracing The New, Not Changing The Old
This goes along with tip number 4. If you are only focusing on changing old habits, what will be on your mind, thus forcing your energy to flow towards…. Old Habits. What do you want in your life? What do you desire? A healthier lifestyle? Focus on eating one extra vegetable a day. A salary raise? Focus on what you will have to do to get it. Whatever it is, focus on that!
If it doesn’t feel good, it isn’t good for you.
Say “Hi” first. Lean into resistance. Stop judging yourself and everyone around you; everyone is doing the best they can, and if they aren’t, help them. Use your energy wisely. Focus on creating the new, not avoiding the old. It took me 26 years to figure these out. Some it takes longer, some not. However, my hope for you is that you reflect on what you have learned, take what serves you and run with it, take what hasn’t served you and throw it away.
Monique Hayes is an intuitive health coach, Reiki Master, bakeologist, and educator. After completing her MPH, she quit the corporate health world to pursue her own mission of helping people heal from the inside out. She loves working with people, helping them transform into the happiest and healthiest version of themselves. Healthy, delicious food, connecting with nature, understanding the wants and needs of your body, and being authentically you in an inauthentic world are extremely important to her.